Wendy Wilson’s 2013 Christmas Break Update

Hey Everybody!

Wendy Wilson here with the Watervalley Elementary School Christmas Break Update.

We had the annual school Christmas program the last day before the break. Mrs. Gregory, the elementary school music teacher seemed happy it was over. Each year she says she’s never doing another one. I think it drives her crazy. But Mrs. Gregory always comes through. She’s a nice person and very grateful. She’s always whispering “Thank God for Prozac and Jack,” under her breath. They must be friends of hers.

I don’t think it helped that Billy Clyburne started making up words to the songs during the Christmas Program. Instead of Feliz Navidad, Billy started singing “Fleas on my dog.” Everyone cracked up and joined in. I didn’t, but I wanted to. It was funny; especially when he added the “woof” sound right before each chorus.

Spencer Grace Benedict got mad because she wasn’t chosen to play Mary in the Christmas Pageant. Seriously, Spencer Grace; how many paintings of a blonde Mary have you seen? Duh! Besides, the mother of Jesus shouldn’t be an airhead. Spencer Grace had to be one of the farm animals. I told her she was a holy cow. She didn’t get it.

Spencer Grace was also being all snooty, bragging about how she and her mom and dad were going snow skiing out in Colorado over the break. “I can’t wait to see all those beautiful flakes,” she said. I asked her if it was a family reunion.

Bianca Maxwell got to play Mary because she has dark hair. But she didn’t do a very good job. All she had to do was stare adoringly at a baby doll. Mrs. Gregory told her she should have a sparkle in her eyes. The easiest way to get a sparkle to come out of Bianca’s eyes is to shine a flashlight into her ear.

Every year Daddy likes to get the record player out just so he can play the old Firestone Christmas albums that he listened to when he was a kid. It drives me nuts but it makes Daddy happy. So, I guess it’s okay. He listens to these guys named Burl Ives, Jim Reeves, and Gene Autry. I didn’t really like them so he found some of his old 45 records and played some songs called “Mony Mony,” and “Mohair Sam.” Daddy sang along. I asked him to put the Christmas Music back on.

Hey, I got to be in the Christmas parade! Daddy cleaned up the old Allis Chalmers tractor and pulled the Sixth Grade Class float. Pearl Pillow and I waved to everybody with our hand up like we were the Queen. It was funny. I felt sorry for the High School Marching Band, though. Somebody messed up and put the Watervalley Bridle and Saddle Club in front of them in the parade. Some of the horses must have had nervous stomachs.

The Community Christmas Eve service was really good this year, although the organ sounded a little funny. Turns out, Ms. Warren, the organist from Watervalley First Presbyterian, accidentally super glued three of her fingers together an hour before the service. She was trying to fix her glasses. I think she only got one of them unstuck.

My teacher, Ms. Chambers sang a solo. It was great. She’s so pretty. Daddy sang all the Christmas hymns in the service really loud. I love Daddy, but maybe he should just stick to singing in the shower. Oh, well. I guess he was just making a joyful noise. Emphasis on noise!

After the service Daddy and I went home and stayed up late watching movies. He made pigs-in-a-blanket. He says they’re God’s perfect food. We had already seen all the Christmas movies at least twice so we watched “The Goonies.” It’s my favorite.

I got some nice clothes for Christmas; several cute tops, a belt, and some dresses. Daddy gave me an envelope with cash in it and a note that said, “For underwear.” I’ll be thirteen soon and I guess Daddy’s not comfortable about buying panties and bras. I’m sure he wishes that Mom was around for that. I didn’t get a Christmas card from her this year. That’s okay. I hope she had a nice Christmas in Florida. I think that’s where she’s living now.

Anyway, Pearl Pillow is coming over for New Year’s Eve and Daddy says we can stay up till midnight….which is kind of funny. I’ve been up at midnight the last two New Year’s Eves. Daddy always falls asleep in the chair. I just put my pj’s on and act like his snoring woke me up. He tucks me in and goes to bed. But first, I always make sure his alarm is set for five so he doesn’t forget. He has to get up to milk the cows.

Pearl and I are real excited. Spencer Grace has been bragging that she’s getting a new iPhone. We found out her number and are going to send her a text message that says, “Spencer Grace, this is SIRI. Quit asking me stupid questions.” We can’t wait. It’s going to be a great New Year’s!